The Different Ways We Communicate

A few weeks ago if I was asked the question “Do I find myself communicating differently with different people and groups”? I would probably say that I did not because I would not have given it much thought. Now that I have thought about it, I realize that I do communicate differently with different groups of people. It may be family versus relatives, family versus friend, my Island people versus people in this first world country in which I now live, it may be the clergy versus the congregation or superintendent versus my fellow colleagues. There are a number of things that I may take into consideration when I am communicating, such as; the setting, status or occasion.

When I am communicating with people who speak another language other than English, who are just functioning on a few English words, I patiently put the words together so that I can understand what they are saying. However, it is very stressful for me because I want to be sure that I hear the message without misinterpreting what they want to convey to me. It is the same way when I am speaking to someone who do not fully understand English, I find myself speaking slowly and loudly, which seems so ridiculous because the person is not deaf.

When communicating with fellow Islanders casually, may be family or friends, we get into our local patois (dialect) where we are comfortable, talking and gesticulating with ease and comfort, not caring about the fragments of British English, African and others which make up our dialect. It is a sweet, soothing and unpretentious atmosphere that frees the mind and relaxes the body, allowing me to bask in the ownership of one small part of who I am. On the other hand, communicating with people of this culture (American) is totally different, I have to put on the Standard English so that the listener can hear and understand the words that I am using, before they can begin to comprehend the message that I am passing on to them.

When communicating with Professionals, my mind get into an intellectual mode, where intelligence is in the forefront of my thoughts. It depends on what is the purpose of the communication, are we discussing programs or strategies, or are we talking about improving our skills. I have to speak like a learned individual, applying knowledge of the subject that we are discussing. It may be on the topic of diversity or quality education or even available funds for low income families. I have to speak about what I think is good and what needs to be improved or just the awesome opportunity of playing an important role(s) in the lives of young children and their families.

I will definitely conclude that our communication styles are different when we are communicating with different people, depending on the relationship we have or, the purpose for and messages we are trying to send. I have learned a lot this week about communication and being effective. Based on that I would use these three strategies in an effort to communicate more effectively.

Firstly, I will definitely apply the platinum rule in all of my communications with others, which says “Treat others as they themselves would like to be treated” (Beebe, Beebe, and Redmond, 2011).

Secondly, I will be more intentional in, putting myself in the shoes of others when communicating with them, to try and understand where they are coming from, how they are feeling and what it is that they are trying to communicate to you.

            Thirdly, I will seek out my own verbal and nonverbal communications styles/patterns and understand that they have different meanings based on the different cultures interpreting them. Therefore, I have to pay attention to the culture I am communicating with, in an effort to show respect and to not be judgmental of them.

Reference

Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon