Conflict Resolution

I am always quick to avoid conflicts because I know that some people take everything as a personal attack. They would get mad and totally defensive if there was a disagreement on any point or matter. Someone with a more assertive personality would almost always overcome the other by using strategies for the desired outcome. O’Hair and Wiemann (2012) states, “conflict cannot always be resolved, but every conflict does eventually have some outcome” (p.241).

The conflict that I would like to present is as follows; my family and I went out of town to spend thanksgiving with my dad and his family. On our way, I heard that my brother’s mom, who I also love was in the same area visiting my brother, and she heard that we were in town. She went ahead and made plans for us to stay at their house, without even discussing it with my dad or with us. We stayed with my dad and went to visit her on Friday and she was very quiet. I asked her what the matter was, and she replied that we were very selfish, and that she made all these arrangements, cooked and waited for us since Wednesday and we were just showing up on Friday afternoon.

I waited until she was through with her disappointments. I then told her that first of all, we did not come there to see her. I asked her if she or my brother had discussed this with my dad. I also asked her why when I spoke with her on Wednesday evening, didn't she let me know about the plans that she had made. I told her that Secondly, my husband pledged that he wasn't leaving the house until Friday and thirdly, how could we be selfish when we had already planned our visit in its entirety and I that I had no clue that she had plans for us. She mumbled something about her plans not being important because she was not a part of our family. I told her that we were all together now and that’s what should matter, that yesterday was already gone and we do not know what tomorrow will bring. I then asked if we could move on to enjoying the visit. She concluded that it was an all-round lack of communication but she was still disappointed. I told her that it was not a personal attack on her but that we just felt so relaxed after the eleven hours, hot chocolate and brownies and biscuits (sweet pastry, English cuisine), that we chose not to move. We then hugged and went into a friendly conversation, food and family fun.

I believe that I handled this personal conflict fairly, at first I was upset about MS Williams’ statements. I felt that she was attacking me for something that I knew nothing about or had no part in. However I compromised with her in the situation as I thought about her feelings and expectations.

The strategy that I have used is the act of Compromise. I believe that as early childhood professionals, we will have many opportunities in which to use this strategy. We guide the children by offering two choices to accomplish an outcome that we want them arrive at.  It is a winning strategy because everyone gets what they want. Another strategy that I could have used is the win –win situation, whereby both parties have a discussion and come to a favorable outcome with both are satisfied. (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2012).

Reference

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St.            Martin's.